CoreTechs
Team: Jeremy Wire, Scott Fairman, Steve Stewart, Jerome Nadel, Eric Saltzman
and me (Andrew)
Ok,
I have started to write this report several times, but my creative juices are
just not flowing. I have nothing to "bump", nothing to offer in terms
of entertainment. It could be that three races in two days and several
margaritas and glasses of wine have killed those few brain cells that were
competent enough to write creatively. So all I can offer at this point is an
actual race report of what transpired. Well, what I remember transpired. I
offer no guarantee that this is very accurate at all.
I
show up to the race and park next to a large white van with no windows. The
kind of van that the police routinely pull over just to check inside that no
one is bound in the back. To make things a bit scarier, the van is blasting
"Sexual Healing". Only thing missing was a bumper sticker with the
words "If this van is a rocking, don’t bother knocking". Turns out
that our very own Steve Stewart is the owner of this fine piece of machinery. I
am already practicing my words for the news crews when they call for a quote:
"Steve was such a nice guy, I never could have imagined him capable of
that."
Race
1: 75 mile road race in Oakdale around Woodward Reservoir. Seems that Oakdale
is home to all road races in Nor Cal. I have gone to Oakdale more in the last
two months than any sane person should. Regardless, this is an eight lap race.
If I do my math correctly that would mean each lap is about 24 miles long. Oh,
maybe that is not right but it felt about that. Now you also see why I went
into staffing and not finance.
Our
team strategy for the race was simple. Get enough time on the one mutant in our
race (Kevin Klein) and the one great TT'er (Chris Courtney) in order to survive
the GC and come out with a win. Win you say? Yes, we were not going into a race
shooting for second place. Sure, we could have done that, but with our very own
active duty Army Ranger carpooling with us, not sure we would survive the ride
home saying we achieved our goal of being "first loser". So we had to
at least try for first. That meant we needed to figure out how that was
remotely possible. After all, Klein could win by just riding off the front in
each of the races and Courtney just needed to sit next to us and then TT our
brains in. Ok, then the strategy became apparent and simple. Get in a break
without either of those two. See, no problem. How hard could that be?
Our
potential GC guys were Jerome and myself. Eric was not going to do the TT,
Steve was too busy fussing with his musical choices and Jeremy and Scott were
in their first race of the year. So, it was down to Jerome and me to fly the
CoreTechs GC flag.
Lap
3 and I launch off the front. By launch I mean I roll off before anyone seems
to notice. Eventually a Sierra Nevada rider looks up and sees me. He comes over
and we have a two man break. I ride hard for a full lap taking a lot of the
pulls as he seems to be breathing very hard. We are now out of site! By the
time we start the next lap, he says, "I think one of your guys is coming
across". I look back but can not make out the kit. I am torn on sitting up
to wait or making the guy work for it. We ride moderately to give the guy some
work but letting him come to us. With the rider 300 meters back I see that it
is not a CT boy but rather Klein making his way solo to us. If there was one
guy I did not want it to be it was Kevin. Now I had to think, do I want to stay
with this break and go to the finish or sit up and hope that Jerome can get in
another break. Not an easy decision. If I stayed in the break, I am sure we
would have stayed away and maybe I get a few minutes on everyone else and I can
take a second overall. Nope, I still had that car ride home with the Army
Ranger and so still had visions of CoreTechs winning.
Side
note; once Kevin reached my break, I sat on the Sierra rider and did not pull
(neither did Kevin by the way). Kevin though started to yell and gesticulate
about what a shit head I was and why was I sitting in now that he got there. I
did not look or talk to him, but he kept yakking. We did one or two rotations
and then Kevin started in on me for not taking long enough pulls. When I went
to the back of our three man break, I sat up and let the two of them roll off.
Not long after I was back in the pack. We then got a nice rotation going and
half a lap later we brought back the two of them. Kevin was very pissy from
that moment on.
Final
lap; about 5 miles to go and a VOS (Jan) rider rolls off the front. We let him
go till he has 45 seconds to a minute on the pack. We then all realize that
could have been a mistake to let him go. Since no one was chasing him down, it
was up to Eric/Jerome or I to go after him. That was the only guys we had left
at this point. Courtney came to the front to get a rotation going to bring him
back, but Kevin yelled at him to stop. "Let CoreTechs bring him
back". I think at this point Eric was getting a bit tired and Jerome was
now going to be our GC guy since my break did not work. I had a lap and a half
of two man break in my legs, but figured I could bring back Jan. I went to the
front and channeled my best Tom Rice. I sat on the front for what felt like two
hours (probably 5 minutes) and went as hard as I could sustain. Finally I got
tired and pulled off. I heard Eric tell Kevin if he does not help that Jan is
going to win. Kevin said, "I don’t care, I am teaching Andrew a
lesson". So, Eric came to the front and took a turn. I then came back to
the front and gave another hour worth of pulling (about 2.5 minutes). We got
Jan back to 20 seconds, but that was the best we could do. He won the race. In
the final sprint Kevin got second and Jerome took third. I rolled in with the
same time in 6th and Eric was right there too.
Post
first day: Started with Margarita from the white van, another once we got home
and then a few glasses of wine at dinner. Awesome! We sat around talking bike
talk (doping, who could be doping, doping and more doping talk…). Had an amazing dinner provided by
Mark Dames and his fantastic, saint of a wife.
Race
2 (Copper Town Circuit race): We must have looked like squirrels to the group.
They chased anything in a CoreTechs kit. Every break attempt that went from a
CoreTechs rider was chased down immediately. Eric tried once or twice, Steve
tried, Scott tried and I tried but nothing was getting away if you had on a CT
jersey. Kevin mostly chased it all down. They were however letting anyone else
go and leaving it to CoreTechs to pull back. 2 laps to go it seemed obvious
that no CT break was going to stick, so I rolled next to Jerome. He had a 11
second advantage on everyone but the VOS rider and Kevin from the RR (they gave
time bonuses for 1 through 3rd), so he was our GC guy and I was his domestique.
I told him I am going to launch my sprint a bit early (300 meters). I knew
Kevin would be the first to chase me, so just sit on Kevin and wait till he
goes after me. Once he does, come around him. About 1.5k to go a knucklehead
(he could not ride a straight line to save his life) rider goes off the front.
No one will chase him down. I don’t want to chase him at that point since that
would blow our plan. I am hoping someone will bring him back. No one does, we
all just sit and watch him go waiting for someone else to chase. He wins.
Arrgg. With 300 to go I sprint and sure enough, Kevin chases me. Jerome is on
his wheel and comes around just as planned. Jerome gets 2nd place, Kevin 3rd
and I take 4th.
TT:
Why or why are there things such as TT's? They suck. Not sure how I can say
that with more emphasis…they suck ass (yeah, that is more like it). If my legs
could speak they would say some really foul things. After two races and a lot
of attacks I now find myself wearing a silly helmet and some lady counting me
down. The race is five miles out into a headwind with small, sharp climbs. I
roll out and blow up. Legs seize, lungs scream and brain starts contemplating
odd things. There is no strategy, no teamwork, no camaraderie. It is you seeing
stars and the occasional blur of a faster rider zooming by. No idea what
happened in this "race" other than eventually I crossed a line on the
cement and was told I could stop pedaling. I did, wiped the snot from my face and
went back to the car.
After
listening to "Sexual Healing" for the fifth time this weekend and
downing another margarita, we eventually headed home. The "general"
promised not to kill us on the way home for not achieving our goal. Overall,
the consensus is we had a blast! And if your wondering, our strategy did not
work out and Kevin ended up winning the GC with Courtney making up enough time
to get third (the VOS rider held on for second). The team tried and we raced hard.
Maybe next year we try different tactics, but as a bunch of old men pedaling
our bikes, we certainly had some fun! Now I just need to order a copy of Sexual
Healing in time to pump me up for my next race.
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