CoreTechs Staffing Cycling Team

Warning: Politically Incorrect, a bit offensive and darn funny. Chris Rippey reports from Surf City CX race: December 16th, 2012

The date of the race: Yesterday
The location: Watsonville fairground
A quick course description: three muddy sections, two were off camber downhills, two  required running, flat asphalt section by start finish.
The category you raced: singlespeed A
The number of racers: more then twenty

After getting cash, gas and waiting longer then I wanted to get bagels and coffee (screw you Izzy's bagels, if your don't have salt or chocolate chips bagel then don't take an order for them, assholes.) I headed out to Watsonville with my girlfreind in tow. We bumped Kanye most of the way there. At the race I discovered I had forgot my shorts. I was not going to ruin my best pair of jeans so I was left with either wearing my girlfriends  skinsuit (I don't believe in skinsuits, they are dumb!)  or trying to see if I could rustle up some shorts. I saw Miles and Dave and informed them of my situation and decided to borrow Miles shorts cause Dave looks a little AIDSy to me. The shorts were gross but at least they matched and Miles seems like a guy free of sexually transmitted diseases. I did a warmup lap and the course was muddy like everyone said so I just rode around talking shit to my fellow cx racers and let my warm up and chances of victory to the cx gods. We were called to line up. I didn't know anyone except my buddy Angus and Rick. I told both of them all I cared about accomplishing in the race was beating them. The gun goes off and I ride mid pack. After the first run up I rip Miles' short and spent the rest of the race checking and adjusting my shorts so that my junk didn't hang out. I raced smooth and at a consistent pace. I didn't make any big mistakes. Ben Jacques-Maynes commented, in a shitty tone, that I should be riding on the grass cause it was faster when I rode in the mud so he could pass me(dickhead). I beat Angus and Ric and ended up in eighth place. I got coffee after the race and crashed into another driver as we were both backing out of our parking spots. All in all I had fun but my bumper is all messed up now.