CoreTechs Staffing Cycling Team

Knights Ferry Road Race Report by Andrew A. (Feb 2nd 2013)

Cat 1/2/3-45+
84 miles of rolling terrain with one Sandhill and a half "climb" that you do four times (3.5 lap race)
20 rider field
Team CoreTechs: Andrew and Daryoush

For those new to the team and not yet accustomed to my long winded, totally off the mark reports, well, you have now been warned. Below you find something that slightly resembles a race report. These rambles usually turn into psychoanalysis, hyperbole and self serving aggrandizing. Delete this email now, I will not be held responsible for the time you waste reading it.

Like someone who lives abroad for a few years and comes back with a new "accent" to their English (I have not noticed this at all Jerome, congratulations, you withstood the pressure of coming home with a French accent), I am doing my best to remind myself I am a 46 year old man. I want to make sure I don’t accidently incorporate my young friend Mr. Rippey's writing style. For this reason, as I drove to the race I made sure to avoid any purchases of bagels and I certainly did not "bump any Kayne ". I also had my pants firmly around my waist so as to avoid the ass sag jean look. Now, I did have a dew rag on, but was quickly reminded that the look was very hip in about 1988. So I reverted back to my well worn old man style of sweat pants and a sweat shirt. The chicks were digging me.

Daryoush and I drove some silly amount of time to get to a cow pasture in the middle of nowhere. Really, this is not exaggeration. Even the people in Oakdale said this race was in the boonies. Once there, we saw the usual crowd. We acted very cool, gave many head nods and repeated the common saying at this event; "this is just a training race for me. I have not ridden since before Christmas. I am way out of shape." Overhearing our conversations, you would have thought this was a group of guys that accidently met up in a cow pasture, all found they happened to have their bikes with them and decided "what the heck, let's try these things out and see if they still work."

See? Three paragraphs in and I have yet to mention the actual race. I told you, I am not responsible for any of your wasted time, this deep in to the email and it is on you!



Race starts and the 20 of us head off. Daryoush, who I talked into doing this race with me, had too much coffee on the drive out. The caffeine went to his head and the wind vest he wore flapped like a cape. He had caught the infamous bike racer malady that we have all acquired at one point or another; Supermanites. This is a very dangerous affliction, I know, I have had it many times. The symptoms are these: Mental sharpness, light feeling in the legs. The results are disastrous. You see, this affliction comes on in the first laps of races, causing the infected to act in an incredibly aggressive manner. Daryoush must have attacked the field ten times in the first lap. Each time getting about 200 meters out front only to be dragged back. Once back he "soft pedaled" at the front of the pack leading the entire peloton again. At one point I road up and told him, "please save a match or two for the rest of 70 miles we have to do!". I had seen it though, he had that vacant look in his eyes, that look of, "please don’t talk to me mere mortal bike rider, for I am superman and I will destroy this field". All I could do was sit in the group and hope his malady would subside in time for him to survive.

What I neglected to mention was that this was a pretty stacked field of 20 riders. We had one mutant and six or seven DGR's in the field. After Daryoush's tenth attack, mutant (Dirk) attacks. We all watch him go. This is an experienced field and no one wants to sit on mutant for 50 more miles. He leaves us (Déjà vu for me, as I ended my 2012 season with this exact scenario-see the Henleyville race report). Suddenly though, an unexpected thing happens, we all start to drill it and actually work together. This increase causes some of the weaker links to break. Daryoush, recovering from his 10 attacks was sitting at the back at this very moment. The two in front of him crack. He is off the back just as the pack has gone ballistic. He cant swing around the two cracked riders in time and his race is over. He is relegated to a solo ride, cape firmly planted between legs.

We have about ten of us left at this point. The cooperation breaks down as some knucklehead attacks before coming close to catching mutant. Once that happens the cat and mouse games start. Pack slows to 15mph, then attack again, 15mph, attack again and so on. Finally with five miles left we all realize no one is getting away and we start to position for the finish. The finish line was at the top of a hill, probably about the length of 1.5 Sandhills. We ride to the 200 meter to go sign at about 12 mph, all watching each other and bumping shoulders. One goes, and that lights the fuse. We all come from our track stands to full sprint. I have to swing a bit over the yellow line to get around a Sierra Nevada rider and have clear road ahead. I see rider one and two ahead and I have a shot at rider two. I catch him mid crank but I do so as we cross the line, so I get third in the bunch and fourth counting mutant. I win a coveted white t-shirt to commemorate my "just off the podium, first loser" position…sigh.


Back in the car we bump some Kayne and look for a bagel shop.